Ellen Burstyn’s dark past: Her husband stalked her for years

At 92, Ellen Burstyn is a true Hollywood legend — graceful, talented, and still looking phenomenal.

Her career is spotless, seemingly free of scandals or gossip. But behind her success lie some very dark chapters: years of terror with a schizophrenic husband, an illegal abortion, and death threats.

How did Ellen survive? Keep reading to find out.

Transformation from shy introvert

Ellen Burstyn’s life is as extraordinary as her career. Over more than four decades, she has dazzled audiences on stage, film, and television. But she has also endured a cruel mother, an absent father, relentless abuse, and an abortion at 18 that left her unable to have children.

Despite her success and acclaim, Ellen Burstyn long remained one of America’s least publicized stars. In her early career, she was remarkably reserved, often blushing during interviews like a self-conscious schoolgirl. Her eyes would flit nervously around the room, and her hands would flutter with unease.

But Ellen’s transformation from a shy introvert to a poised and confident extrovert was nothing short of inspiring. Simply put, she grew tired of her shyness — it didn’t align with her professional ambitions.

Ellen Burstyn as a young girl

Let’s start from the beginning. Ellen Burstyn was born Edna Rae Gillooly on December 7, 1932, in Detroit, the daughter of Correine Marie (née Hamel) and John Austin Gillooly. Sadly, her childhood was far from idyllic. When her parents divorced, Ellen and her two brothers, Jack and Steven, moved in with their mother and her new partner.

Unfortunately, their new home offered little in the way of love or kindness, painting a grim picture of a young girl starved for affection.

”I wasn’t a happy kid. Hell to med would be being a a child again. I always felt like a stranger, like I was born into this time and this place by accident,” Ellen once told the Miami Herald. 

Determined to break free, Ellen made herself a solemn promise — to leave home on her 18th birthday and escape her cold, controlling and violent mother. It was the beginning of a journey that would lead her from adversity to extraordinary achievement.

Used her sexuality as a way to survive

During her high school years, Ellen Burstyn was the picture of ambition and energy— a cheerleader captain, a student council member, and the president of her drama club. But her story took an unexpected turn when she dropped out during her senior year after struggling academically.

After dropping out, Ellen started working as a dancer using the name Kerri Flynn, and then made a living as a model until the age of 23.

In her younger years, Burstyn admitted that she learned to use her sexuality as a way to survive.

”When I was 18 or 19, I wasn’t earning very much money, so I ate when I had a date,” she said on The Oprah Winfrey Show. ”But that was all the food I got. So I felt the least I could was say `thank you.’”

Ellen’s biological father was absent during her upbringing. She recalls seeing him only once while attending boarding school.

At 19, she attempted to reconnect, hoping for a father-daughter bond. ”I arrived on his doorstep and… he didn’t consider me a daughter, he considered me a hot babe. So that ended that relationship,” she says.

Ellen Burstyn changed her name 25 times

According to Ellen Burstyn herself, she’s changed her name about 25 times — a true chameleon in every sense. During her early days as a model in Dallas and New York, she went by Edna Rae. For a mid-1950s screen test, she became Erica Denn. From 1955 to 1956, she lit up The Jackie Gleason Show as an “Away We Go” dancing girl under the name Erica Dean.

When she transitioned from modeling to acting, she adopted the name Ellen McRae, making her Broadway debut in 1957. New York brought her a few small walk-on roles in television, but nothing that truly launched her career.

For her early film appearances, she stuck with Edna McRae — until 1969, when she starred in Tropic of Cancer. That was when the name Ellen Burstyn finally took center stage. And the rest, as they say, is history.

It was the film Tropic of Cancer, where Ellen starred opposite Rip Torn, that became the breakthrough role for the hardworking actress. Director Paul Mazursky took note of her performance and was so impressed that he cast her as Donald Sutherland’s wife in Alex in Wonderland. This role opened doors for Ellen, marking the start of a new chapter in her career.

Injured during the shooting of The Exorcist

Ellen Burstyn earned widespread acclaim for her portrayal of a small-town mother in The Last Picture Show, a role that garnered her an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress. The film itself received eight Oscar nominations, further cementing Burstyn’s place as a rising star.

Determined to take on challenging roles, Burstyn set her sights on playing Chris MacNeil in the supernatural horror film The Exorcist (1973). Initially, the film studio hesitated to cast her, but when no other actors were considered for the part, Burstyn was given the iconic role. Her performance became legendary, making The Exorcist a defining moment in her career.

The making of the cult classic The Exorcist is almost a story in itself— one filled with intense challenges and unforgettable moments.

”It was a huge event in my life,” Ellen shared.

One of the most dramatic incidents occurred at around 1 hour and 13 minutes into the film. During a scene where Ellen Burstyn’s character is violently thrown away from her possessed daughter, a harness jerked her so forcefully from the bed that she fractured her coccyx. The pain was so excruciating that Burstyn screamed, and shockingly, this very footage made it into the final cut of the film.

Grueling reality behind Exorcist’s iconic scenes

But the physical toll was just one part of the grueling experience. With a production budget of $12 million, filming took place across various parts of New York City, and the conditions were grueling for everyone involved.

The cast endured ”six-day weeks, twelve-hour days for nine months,” pushing their limits at every turn. Director William Friedkin, known for his unconventional methods, even used a prop gun to elicit genuine reactions from the cast, making every moment feel raw and real.

”It was very scary. I wasn’t prepared for the kind of reaction it got. It was like being on a rollercoaster, people screaming, alla holding their breath and then expelling their breath at the same time. It astounded me,” she told UPI. 

After her intense experience on The Exorcist, Ellen Burstyn took on a smaller role in the comedy-drama Harry and Tonto (1974). But it was her next major project that truly showcased her range and solidified her place as a leading actress.

Binge drinking with Alan Alda

In Martin Scorsese’s Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974), Burstyn portrayed Alice, a widowed woman struggling to raise her son while yearning for a fresh start as a singer. The role resonated deeply with Burstyn, as she saw echoes of her own life in Alice’s desire for reinvention and self-discovery. The film became a defining moment in her career, earning her the Academy Award for Best Actress.

After Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, Ellen Burstyn starred in Same Time, Next Year, a performance that earned her a Tony Award. During the production, she developed a strong connection with her co-star, Alan Alda, and it’s safe to say their relationship got off to a flying start.

Just before filming the movie version, Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn went out and indulged in a night of binge drinking.

”I don’t remember too much of it, except at one point we went into a supermarket that was still open, though the bars had closed. There was a big wire bin of beach balls and my memory is of Alan and me running up and down the aisles playing catch. There were no other people in the store except one cashier who was about to close up for the night. He watched our hilarity warily. He had an expression that said: I’d like to throw those drunks out of here, but am I crazy or is that Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn?”

Focusing on her looks

In recent years, Ellen Burstyn has continued to shine in a variety of television roles. She earned critical acclaim for her portrayal of the matriarch of a polygamous family in Big Love (2006–2011) and has captivated audiences with her powerful, manipulative character in The Handmaid’s Tale (2017–present).

Reflecting on her remarkable career, Burstyn revealed her conscious decision to focus on honing her craft rather than relying on her beauty. ”It occurred to me, I could have a career based on my looks,” she said. “But if I did, it would be a very short career, and I’d better not rely on that.”

Burstyn’s impressive range as an actress is evident in her work across genres, from the emotionally intense Requiem for a Dream to the heartfelt drama Resurrection. Her haunting performance in Requiem for a Dream earned her widespread praise, and many still find it surprising that Ellen Burstyn didn’t win an Oscar for her performance.

But Ellen can take comfort in another fact.

A rare and remarkable achievement in the entertainment world, Ellen Burstyn is one of only 17 women in history to receive the prestigious Triple Crown of Acting — an Emmy, a Tony, and an Oscar.

The abortion that still haunts her

Ellen Burstyn’s journey through love and marriage has been marked by abuse and terror. Her early years were filled with heartbreak, beginning with her first marriage at just 18 to Bill Alexander in 1950. That same year, Ellen, who was was raised Catholic, underwent a traumatic illegal abortion at five months pregnant.

The decision has haunted her throughout her life.

”You know that was really an extremely painful experience,” she later reflected in interviews. When asked, “Did you feel you didn’t have a choice?” she admitted, ”At the time I was just young and dumb, I didn’t really want to have a baby then.”

She continued, ”It was the wrong thing to do and I really didn’t understand that till later. That was very very painful, that was probably the worst.”

The abortion’s aftermath was devastating. “The illegal abortion just botched me, so I couldn’t ever get pregnant again. That was a part of the trauma,” she shared.

Ellen Burstyn’s dangerous husband

Ellen Burstyn’s marriage to Bill ended in 1957, and in 1958, she married Paul Roberts. Together, they adopted a son, Jefferson, in 1961. Yet, this union too ended in divorce the same year.

In 1964, Ellen married again, this time to actor Neil Nephew.

This relationship, however, would become the most turbulent of all. She described Neil as “charming and funny and bright and talented and eccentric,” but his schizophrenia soon turned their life together into a nightmare.

His violent behavior and eventual departure left deep scars on Ellen.

He tried to reconcile, but their marriage ended in 1972. In her autobiography Lessons in Becoming Myself, Ellen revealed some horrific details about their relationship.

”He wanted to come back,” she recounted. ”By then I had discovered how pleasant life was without a crazy husband, and I didn’t want him to come back.”

Stalked her for many years

According to Ellen, Neil, who later changed his name to Neil Burstyn, stalked her for many years after their divorce. She also disclosed that he had raped her while they were still married.

At the time, spousal rape was not a criminal offense, and no charges were filed.

Reflecting on her experience with Neil, Ellen recounted a chilling encounter when she called the police for help:

“When I called the police, they said, we don’t mix in household problems. And I said, he’s threatened to kill me. And he said, no, we don’t respond. And I said, well what is it you do? And he said, we apprehend criminals when a crime has been committed. And I said, you mean, I should call if he actually kills me? And he said, that’s right.”

Neil took his own life in 1978, jumping from the window of his ninth-floor Manhattan apartment as his schizophrenia began to reach its climax.

”It seemed like somehow my success had caused his insanity,” she reflected, though she recognized it wasn’t her fault.

Why she would like to call her mother again

Ellen’s tragic experiences with men led her to reevaluate her relationship with her own mother, with whom she had a strained bond.

In the end, Ellen realized that her mother, too, had been trapped in an unhappy marriage and had taken out her frustrations on her daughter. While this doesn’t excuse her mother’s behavior, Ellen no longer holds bitterness toward her, even though her mother passed away long ago.

”We didn’t really get along, but now I miss her,” Ellen admitted, acknowledging that her mother needed help. “I wish that I could call her. I hope that through some mystical magic, she hears that.”

After Neil’s suicide, Ellen chose to remain single, resisting the urge to enter a new relationship. She learned to embrace her own strength, understanding that she could be both powerful and loved while also being content on her own. Solitude, over time, became her ally, offering her the peace and independence she needed.

Where does Ellen Burstyn live?

Outside of her professional life, Ellen has dedicated much of her time to study, therapy, and meditation. Now 92 years old, the latest reports indicate that she resides in New York City.

In an interview with AP when she turned 88, Ellen shared that when she reached 80, she made the decision to leave Rockland County and move into the city.

”Time for a little action,” she explained.

She now lives in an apartment with a view of Central Park, which she enjoys strolling through daily.

”It’s my garden,” she said.

Despite her impressive age, Ellen remains active in the acting industry. When she turned 91, she her Law & Order costar Christopher Meloni: “I’m busier than I can ever remember being at any point in my career.”

“And I don’t understand it at all. I mean, what’s all this stuff about ageism in Hollywood? How did I get left out of it?”

Why the 1970s were the best time

Despite her busy schedule, Ellen still finds time to reflect on her career and its highlights. So, what was the best time of her life professionally?

”Definitely the ’70s. That was when the studios were still run by filmmakers, not by corporations. And the scripts were submitted because somebody was interested in that story and wrote it, and a producer liked it and thought it would make a good movie. Not because it had been fed into a computer and said, “Well, the first version made X number of millions, so the second one will make X number of millions and it has to have a big name,” Ellen told Interview Magazine in 2023.

Ellen Burstyn age

So, are there any secret tricks to Ellen’s impressive age and her continued ability to shine in front of the camera?

Well, there’s no magic formula or juicy headline-worthy secret she’s ready to spill.

But one thing might be that she’s been a vegetarian since childhood – and another could be her habit of waking up every day with a positive outlook on life, grateful for each new day. And honestly, that sounds like some pretty solid advice to me!

At 92, Ellen Burstyn is still going strong, proving that age is just a number when it comes to living life to the fullest. With her timeless beauty, sharp mind, and dedication to her craft, she continues to inspire.

Whether it’s through her active career, her positive attitude, or her daily walks in Central Park, Ellen shows that you can age gracefully and keep shining. Here’s to many more years of brilliance from this legendary actress!

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